I’ve shared the heavy parts of my journey—how depression and stress can creep in, take over, and make even the simplest tasks feel like a mountain to climb. But today, I want to talk about how I slowly found my way out of that darkness. Spoiler: it wasn’t a sudden transformation or a magic cure. It was about finding little things that kept me going, and step by step, I learned how to keep those emotional triggers in check.

The Power of Staying Busy

Here’s something I realised early on—when I was busy, my mind didn’t have the space to fall into those dark places. It’s the quiet, the solitude, that triggers the flashbacks, the regrets, and the “what-ifs.” So, I learned to keep myself occupied. It wasn’t always about doing something grand, just staying engaged with tasks that kept my mind focused. Whether it was helping a friend with their garden or diving into a new project, keeping busy was key.

But I know what you’re thinking—there’s only so long you can keep moving before you’re forced to sit with your thoughts. That’s true, and that’s where I found other ways to cope.

Talking… But Not the Way You Think

I’ve heard it over and over—“talking helps.” The problem? When you’re really in the thick of it, talking is often the last thing you want to do. You don’t want to explain how you’re feeling, and sometimes, you don’t even have the words for it. But I found a way to make talking work for me.

Instead of diving into deep conversations about what was going on in my life, I reached out to old school friends. Friends who didn’t know about my current struggles, and I didn’t know about theirs. We caught up, got nostalgic, and laughed about old memories. It was like a break from reality, and for a little while, it felt good to forget about the present and just relive those simpler times.

Cooking: My Unexpected Therapy

I’ve always enjoyed cooking, but during my toughest times, it became something more. It became therapy. I didn’t even realise it at first, but cooking kept me grounded. I’d put on a comedy movie in the background—something light that didn’t demand too much of my attention—and just lose myself in the process of making a meal. Cooking was a way to be productive without overthinking, and having that comedic relief in the background? It was the perfect combo.

Looking back now, I can see how much it helped me. It wasn’t just about preparing food; it was about focusing on something that brought me joy, even when everything else felt heavy.

Crying It Out (Yes, Even Men Can Cry)

Let’s be real—there’s this unspoken pressure that men shouldn’t cry, but that’s nonsense. Crying was one of the hardest, but most healing things I did. Sometimes I’d think about my brother or my mother, and the tears would just come. And you know what? It helped. It didn’t fix everything, but after a good cry, it felt like a release, like I’d let go of just a little bit of the weight I was carrying.

Crying doesn’t make you weak. If anything, it showed me that sometimes the only way to deal with those intense emotions is to let them out. Holding it all in wasn’t doing me any favours.

One Step at a Time

If I had to sum it all up, it would be this: one step, then another. One day, then another. It wasn’t about making huge changes all at once. It was about staying busy, talking when I could, cooking meals, crying when I needed to, and slowly but surely learning to manage those triggers.

Over time, I got better at it. Whenever those familiar feelings started creeping in, I became more aware and knew when to dive into an activity, call an old friend, or get into the kitchen. I mastered the art of keeping myself busy, and that, in turn, kept my mind from wandering into dangerous territory.

What Helped You?

That’s my story of how I pulled myself out of depression and stress. But what about you? What little things have helped you when you’ve felt down? Have you found any unexpected sources of comfort or peace? I’d love to hear what’s worked for you.

For now, just remember—it’s okay to take things one step at a time. Healing doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen.