In the pursuit of your joy, I gave my all,
Climbed every mountain, no matter how tall.
But when I looked back, the truth came to me,
A shadow of sadness was all I could see.

I gave and I gave, yet nothing returned,
Inside, a quiet fire of longing burned.
In making you happy, I lost my own,
A heart that gave, now feels alone.

So here I stand, a lesson learned deep,
To love myself too, in the promises I keep.
For in giving to others, it’s vital to see,
True joy begins with caring for me.


In our relentless pursuit of making others happy, we often forget a rather inconvenient truth: giving without receiving can leave us running on empty. It’s a tale as old as time – sacrificing our happiness for those we love, only to realise we’ve hidden our own sadness beneath the surface. But here’s the kicker: how can you pour from an empty cup?

The Invisible Burden of Overgiving
Picture this: you’ve gone above and beyond, orchestrating joy for your loved ones. From grand gestures to the tiniest acts of thoughtfulness, you’ve mastered the art of giving. Yet, in the quiet moments, a nagging emptiness lingers.

Why? Because while giving is noble, it’s not supposed to be a one-way street. Relationships thrive on reciprocity, whether it’s in the form of gratitude, love, or even a simple “thank you.” When the scales tip too far, selflessness can morph into self-neglect. And that’s not generosity – it’s martyrdom.

The Danger of “Unconditional Giving”
Society loves to romanticise the idea of unconditional love – that pure, unselfish love that expects nothing in return. But let’s be honest, we’re not saints. Humans thrive on connection, and connection means exchange. When we give endlessly without receiving so much as acknowledgement, it chips away at our emotional reserves.

Witty as it sounds, even the most giving person has their limits. You wouldn’t keep watering a plant that never grows, so why do we keep investing in relationships that leave us parched?

What’s in It for Me? Reclaiming the Balance
Here’s where it gets interesting: asking “What’s in it for me?” doesn’t make you selfish – it makes you human. Self-care isn’t about being self-centred; it’s about ensuring you’re emotionally equipped to care for others without losing yourself in the process.

So, how do we shift gears?

  1. Learn to Say No: Stop overextending yourself. Sometimes, the kindest thing you can do for others is showing them your boundaries.
  2. Communicate Your Needs: Relationships aren’t telepathy. Be upfront about what you need – even if it’s as simple as appreciation.
  3. Invest in Yourself: Whether it’s a hobby, a walk in the park, or bingeing that show everyone’s talking about, carve out time for you.

The Ultimate Realisation
At the end of the day, giving isn’t the problem – overgiving is. When your kindness comes at the expense of your happiness, it’s time to pause and take stock. Remember, you’re not a bottomless well of goodwill. Prioritising yourself is the first step to cultivating healthier, more fulfilling relationships.


Life is too short to be a background character in your own story. So, give generously, love deeply, but don’t forget to save a little something for yourself. After all, the happiest relationships are the ones where joy flows in both directions – a beautiful dance of give and take.

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