We often associate tears with sadness, vulnerability, or even weakness. But have you ever noticed how children cry so freely, and then, just like that, they move on? When I was younger, I made mistakes, cried them out of my mind, and carried on with life as if nothing had happened. But as I grew older, the tears came less and less. Not because I didn’t feel emotions, but because I felt like I shouldn’t show them.

Society teaches us that crying is a weakness—especially for men. “Boys don’t cry,” they say. But I did. I wanted to cry, badly. To cleanse my emotional state. To let it all out. But I couldn’t, not in front of anyone. Instead, I would lie awake at night when the world was asleep, and then, in the silence, I would let it all flow. An ocean of emotions would spill out of me for what felt like an hour. And the next morning? I felt lighter, relieved, as if I had reset my heart.

The Science Behind Tears and Emotional Regulation

Tears are not just salty drops of water; they are composed of proteins, hormones, and other substances that play a crucial role in emotional processing. According to Dr. William H. Frey II, a neuroscientist and tear researcher, “Crying is not only a human response to sorrow and frustration, but it is also a healthy one. It is a natural way to reduce emotional stress that, left unchecked, can have negative physical effects on the body, including increased risk of cardiovascular disease and other stress-related disorders.”

When we cry, our body releases endorphins and oxytocin, often referred to as the “feel-good” hormones. These chemicals act as natural painkillers and mood stabilisers, helping to alleviate stress and anxiety. This is why many people report feeling a sense of relief after a good cry.

Tears as a Tool for Emotional Expression and Connection

Crying is a universal language that transcends cultures and backgrounds. It signals to others that we are experiencing deep emotions, allowing them to respond with comfort, empathy, and support. This emotional bonding fosters stronger relationships and a sense of belonging.

But what happens when we don’t allow ourselves to cry? When we force ourselves to “be strong” and hold everything in? Those emotions don’t just disappear. They fester. They show up in the form of stress, anxiety, and even physical symptoms. Research from the American Psychological Association suggests that people who express their emotions through crying tend to experience greater social support and emotional resilience. In contrast, suppressing tears can lead to emotional repression, increasing stress levels and potentially causing long-term psychological distress.

The Role of Tears in Mental Health

Suppressing tears or refusing to cry does not make us stronger; rather, it can contribute to emotional numbness or heightened stress. Many mental health experts advocate for embracing tears as a means of self-care. Recognising when we need to cry and allowing ourselves to do so can be an act of self-compassion, helping to process grief, anger, or frustration in a healthy manner.

Moreover, research has found that individuals who cry in response to emotional distress often experience a more positive mood shift afterward. Crying acts as a reset button, enabling individuals to regain clarity and emotional balance.

Final Thought

Tears are an essential part of our emotional toolkit. They provide relief, strengthen relationships, and contribute to overall mental well-being. Rather than stigmatising crying, we should embrace it as a natural and beneficial response to life’s challenges.

As the famous poet Washington Irving once said, “There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.”

So the next time you feel overwhelmed, don’t fight it. Don’t bottle it up. Let the tears fall. Let yourself feel. And when you do, know that you are not weak—you are simply human. And that is the greatest strength of all.